Eli lives with his mother, but his life isn’t a good one.
His mother neglects him both emotionally and physically. His parents are separated,
and Eli’s interactions with his father are also troubling; his father beats
him, leaving him scarred. Eli is taken into a group home when his mother dies
of a drug overdose. Two weeks after her death, Eli is taken to Royal Family
Kids Camp, a summer camp geared at giving kids in residential care a week of
fun and unconditional love. Unfortunately, Eli’s counselor Ken is at camp for
selfish reasons, and seems ready to give up on Eli. Slowly, the counselor’s
heart warms to Eli’s needs, and Eli warms up to the counselor. After Eli’s
father is arrested, he asks that the counselor care for him. As the film ends,
it seems likely that Eli’s counselor will become his adoptive father.
How is This Relevant
to Adoption / Foster Care
Camp draws from real stories, and is in a real-life setting.
There are 400,000 children in foster care at any given time. Approximately one
third of those children are actively waiting for an adoptive home, and the
other two thirds are often experiencing concurrent case plans – their families
are working towards being able to reunify while at the same time, social
workers are looking for an adoptive family for the child in case reunification
isn’t possible. Most children in foster care live in foster homes, while some
live in group homes like the one that was home to Eli. For any child, foster
care is a traumatic experience. Children have often been abused or neglected
prior to entering care, and some children experience further trauma while in
care. Camps like this one seek to provide kids with a safe place to have fun
and to experience unconditional love. There is the potential for long-term
relationships to form between counselors and kids – counselors have become
mentors, foster parents and adoptive parents to the children they’ve served.
Camp provides an intentional look at one aspect of some kids’ journeys through
care.
Strong Points
Camp’s strength is in
its realism. I’ve been a fost/adopt social worker, and kids on my caseload
have gone to Royal Family Kids Camp. The movie is realistic. There are
realistic, heart-warming scenes in the film which depict the love that
counselors extend to their campers. The bus of children is greeted by an
enthusiastically cheering crowd of counselors who already know their names.
Tough military veteran Samuel plays imaginatively with his nerdy camper
Redford. There are some tear-jerking scenes, too. We learn that two sisters
only see each other at camp, once a year, because they live in different foster
homes. This happens in real life. One counselor pulls Ken aside and comments that
Eli is testing Ken, not to test his patience, but to see whether Ken even “gives
a damn” about him. The counselor remarks that, as far as Eli knows, no adult
does.
Eli’s rejection, acceptance, subsequent rejection, and final
acceptance of Ken, and his acting-out behaviors are realistic for a child experiencing
what Eli is experiencing. Ken is initially taken aback by Eli’s behaviors,
attitudes, and peculiarities, but he eventually understands Eli.
The children are very
resilient. Redford quickly forgives Eli for hitting him. Other campers
respond to adult encouragement by bravely tackling new experiences.
Samuel challenges Ken’s complaining, reminding him that
working with foster kids is nowhere near as challenging as war. His message to
Ken is basically, “Yes this is difficult – but grow up. You’re the adult here.”
The film stresses the importance
of honesty. Eli calls out Ken for unintentionally lying to him. Another
character cautions Ken not to make promises to Eli that he might not be able to
keep. Ken wisely does not promise to see Eli again; he is eventually able to do
so, but didn’t risk setting Eli up for disappointment.
The Biblical story of Joseph and his brothers is shared. It’s
relevant to foster care: what happened
was bad, but God can bring good out of it.
Eli says hurtful things, but most of the adults around him don’t over-react.
Ken’s initial, authoritarian behaviors don’t work. He begins to connect with Eli when he is
more sensitive and understanding towards him.
Eli never had a birthday party, but Ken gave him his first
one. Nia Vardalos talked about giving “firsts” to her child. Viewers might
consider what “firsts” they can give to kids in their care.
Some Challenges
Foster parents often have negative expectations of birth
parents. The portrayal of Eli’s mother as a negligent, drug-abusing partier and
of Eli’s father as a violent, unpredictable alcoholic may help solidify prospective
foster parents’ preconceived notions of birth parents. While we are given some
brief insight into Eli’s father’s past, the only redeeming act he does in the
film is to relinquish custody of his son. This too closely mirrors some
adoptive parents’ very divergent views of birth parents as either
irresponsible, dangerous people, or selfless people who give up their child. At
the same time, Eli’s home situation is not unheard of in foster care. Viewers should be sure to learn each child’s
situation rather than assuming their first guesses are correct.
Some prospective foster parents often try to bypass training
because they feel it is unnecessary. Ken is able to become a counselor without
going through any real training. The
film does show Ken struggling because of his lack of preparation.
The camp counselors are often very surprised at some of the
kids’ experiences. It doesn’t occur to one counselor that her camper can’t
read, or to another that her camper has never ridden a bike. I guess, as a
social worker, it’s easier to not be surprised by stuff like this, but
counselors aren’t necessarily social workers – just adults who want to help
kids, who might be getting their first exposure to the system. More on that in
the Recommendations section.
Ken frequently takes others’ sides against Eli. He affirms
that Eli is out in kickball. He believes other children when they accuse Eli of
stealing. Many foster parents fall into this behavior, but sometimes, an adult extending trust (even if it’s not
initially deserved) is such a unique and powerful experience to children that
it can be transformational. It’s the difference between saying, “You have
to earn my trust” and saying, “You might not be trustworthy yet. But I’ll give
you trust anyway, and expect you to grow into a trustworthy person. And in
doing so, I’ll show you how to trust.”
Weak Points
Some aspects of this film make it likely to be a poor choice
for children in foster care. Children could be traumatized by scenes of
violence between Eli and his father. In one painful scene, Ken tells Eli that
Eli is “bad.” Ken does not apologize directly; the camp director apologizes for
him.
Recommendations
Camp is a kid-filled movie, but it’s best suited to general
audience adults; kids in care might be re-traumatized by seeing some of the
abuse and interpersonal dynamics between Eli and his parents. Adults connected
personally or professionally to foster care will be touched by Camp. Perhaps
the best audience for Camp is those adults who, like Ken, are not connected to
foster care but could be stirred in their spirit once faced with a child’s
needs. If you’re reading Adoption at the Movies, you probably already care
about adoption, and maybe foster care, too. You’ll probably like this movie. Bring a friend. It might help open
their heart to serving kids in a much-needed way. Even as a professional social
worker with previous knowledge of Royal Family Kids’ Camp, my heart was stirred
by the gravity of kids’ needs, and touched by seeing a fictional depiction of
the very real truth that unconditional
love can overcome many challenges.
Questions for
Discussion After the Movie
Why did Eli hit Redford? As a counselor or parent, what
would have been your gut response? What would have been a better response than
your gut response?
After Eli hit Redford, Ken expressed, “You can’t just throw
out right and wrong. The kid has broken every single rule and there needs to be
consequences” He thought Eli should be punished by being expelled from camp. The
camp director suggested that he be more understanding of Eli’s perspective.
What do you think?
Which action would have caused the best outcome for Eli?
Eli didn’t want to change clothes or swim. Ken became
frustrated by this. We eventually learned that Eli didn’t want to do these
things because doing so would expose scarring on his torso from abuse. What
other scenarios have you experienced where a child’s behaviors only made sense
after learning a bit more about their history? Are there any behaviors you’re
observing in your children now that don’t make sense? How can you avoid leaping
to conclusions? Sometimes kids don’t talk about their reasons; why didn’t Eli
initially share about his reasons for not wanting to swim?
Eli was able to disclose that he hates his deceased mother for
how she mistreated him. Have you ever been angry at someone who is dead? How
could a counselor or parent respond in a way that would be most helpful to Eli?
How can extending trust to a child change their life?
When Eli’s father showed up at Camp, Eli withdrew into his
shell again. Why?
The director asks, “What do you expect, that years of pain will
somehow magically disappear in a week? That you could fix him in a couple of
days?” In your experience, how long does deep emotional pain take to heal? How
does that understanding impact your parenting?
Eli never had a birthday party, but Ken gave him his first
one. Nia Vardalos talked about giving “firsts” to her child. What are some
firsts that you can create for kids in care that you know?
Prayer was an important part of the camp director’s care for
the children, asking God to cover them when she couldn’t. Does prayer play into
your care of kids? How?
Ken asked why God allows Eli to suffer. How would you answer
him?
Would you consider being a counselor this summer? Which of your friends could go with you?
If you found this review interesting, think about checking out Royal Family Kids Camp. You might also want to follow Adoption at the Movies on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
You might enjoy these other posts:
Would you consider being a camp counselor this summer? Which of your friends would make a good counselor to go along with you?
Fantastic review and interview with Jacob. Thanks for all you do on behalf of the fatherless.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Glenn!
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