"What if you asked other adoption bloggers to share about the movies that have been important to them?"
I'm really glad my wife came up with that question. Adoption at the Movies is hosting an ongoing, sporadic series of guest posts about the intersection of real-life adoption and movie-adoption, which has so far featured Lori Holden on The Blind Side, Social Jerk on Precious, and Shannon LC Cate on Rosie O'Donnell's "A Family is A Family is A Family" .
Today, Amanda H.L. Transue-Woolston of The Declassified Adoptee and The Lost Daughters (and honestly, a few other places - Amanda is everywhere!) shares about a movie that inspired and empowered her as a preteen. Enjoy!
“Go,
Matilda, go!” I whispered excitedly to myself. I watched the screen as the little girl
pointed to various objects in her living room, bringing them to life. Matilda danced in a circle as household items
flew playfully around her in her telekinetic grasp. Music from the family stereo played a happy
tune as Matilda set a deck of cards swirling around her like confetti caught in
a whirlwind. Matilda beamed happily, one
of her first expressions of pure joy in the movie. She had a superpower, and nothing was going
to stop her now.
Matilda
Wormwood (played by Mara Wilson) first appears in the movie Matilda (1996) at her birth. The movie is based off of a book with the
same name. Her parents immediately express
their disappointment over her gender; a disappointment that translates into
continuous belittling and neglecting of Matilda throughout the movie. Matilda’s other brother proves to be no
greater an ally, often berating the little brown-eyed girl himself. Matilda’s father (played by Danny DeVito) is
a dishonest used car salesperson. Her
mother (played by Rhea Perlman) stays at home by day and attempts to supplement
the family income by night by playing bingo.
Matilda finds more trouble when
she starts school as her new friends and their kind teacher are confronted
daily by the antics of the mean principal, Ms. Trunchbull. Matilda soon develops a superpower; she can
move objects with her mind. She uses her
telekinesis to help solve problems and protect her friends. At the end of the movie, her parents leave
her in the hands of her teacher, Ms. Honey, who adopts her upon Matilda’s
request.
I
cheered for Matilda when I watched this movie because I identified in some way
with her experience.
As I am an author
and speaker about adoption, it might surprise some to learn that her adoption
was not what drew me to Matilda’s character.
Unlike Matilda, I had parents who were interested and involved in my
life. But what her parents—and her
principal—represented to me were bullies. They were people who were unable to see the
inherent worth of a bright and kind child.
I watched this movie when I was twelve years old and was being teased at
school that year. Like Matilda heard
from of the adults in her life, I never looked right, dressed right, or said
anything right according to some of my peers.
What
an empowered little girl Matilda became.
She spoke in full sentences before she was two, she taught herself to
read, and she read every book at the library.
She could quantify large mathematical equations in her head. She also could move objects around her with
her mind, just by squinting at them. She
used her superpower to protect other children from the mean school principal,
to rescue her teacher’s childhood doll from an angry relative’s house, and just
to have fun.
Matilda
did not become adopted until the end of the movie when she asked her teacher,
Ms. Honey, to adopt her. When agreeing
to the adoption, we see Matilda’s parents’ first expression of fondness towards
their daughter. They verbalize that she
is different and they’ve never understood her.
They quickly make a getaway in their car—running from police after one
of her father’s many bad car deals had gone wrong.
Adoption & Child Welfare
As
an adoptee who was surrendered and adopted as an infant, I did not relate with Matilda’s
choice as an older child to be adopted. I
wished Matilda’s family could be fixed.
I also wanted her to be happy and in an environment where she was
loved. At twelve, I understood that this
was not a representation of actual original families who surrendered a child to
adoption. Matilda’s parents’ were a
purposely exaggerated caricature of average parents and their problems.
This
doesn’t mean that this can’t be a talking point for children about adoption and
to implore what children watching the movie already know about adoption. Children may want to discuss what parts of
Matilda’s experience reflects the experiences of children living adoption, and
what parts would not. Most children, in
all types of adoption, are loved and wanted by their original parents. Children are not surrendered to adoption for
“being different” or through any fault of their own. Most, like Matilda, are also loved by their
adoptive parents. Ultimately, the
narrative of each adopted child should be respected and honored.
Stereotypes
Matilda’s
parents were the villains of the story as was her principal—who was also Ms.
Honey’s aunt. This is repetitious of common
societal stereotypes where the original parents of adopted children, as well as
step-parents, are painted in a poor light.
Persistently portraying certain people as villains is inaccurate and
unfair. My four-and-a-half year old
recently asked “is he just bad?” after observing a chronically villainous
character on one of his favorite preschool shows. I explained to him as best I could explain to
a four year old that people face challenges that influence how they
behave. Rather than labeling someone as
“bad,” as perhaps his show had encouraged him to do, we talked about the worth
that every person has.
Diversity
Speaking
of repetition, once again, this is a movie in which all of the main characters,
including the heroes, are white. Except
for brief appearances here and there, there are no positive portrayals of
people of color. This movie excludes
diversity in many ways. I believe it is
important to discuss diversity and inclusiveness with children and to spend
time listening to their feedback on being excluded and unrepresented in the
television and media outlets geared towards their age group.
Gender
One
of the most important aspects of this movie to me as a 12 year old girl was the
positive portrayals of strong women.
Matilda and Ms. Honey are the heroines of the movie. They are strong, incredibly intelligent,
resilient individuals. They brainstormed
ways to effectively solve their own problems.
They considered their own needs as well as the needs of others. A good discussion point with children viewing
the movie is to implore their perceptions of Matilda. In what ways is Matilda strong? Is Matilda someone they might like to be
friends with? Why or why not?
I
adored this film when I watched it as a young girl. Matilda was a survivor and a hero.
Since
the context of this post is movies that intersect with the topic of adoption, I
will close with one final thought about Matilda the adoptee. She has superpowers, like many adopted
characters in media from movies to comic books to novels do. So often, adoption storylines are used to answer
for the origins of an adopted character’s power. The mystery of their origins, the lack of
disclosure of their biological parentage and pre-adoption life, is used to
explain an adopted character’s behavior, their vices, and their superhuman
abilities. This gets old for many of us
who did have origins, by nature of our adoptions, which were a mystery to us. We constructed the meaning of adoption
throughout our life’s story--a tough enough task without having to figure out a
superpower on top of it. Matilda is a
different portrayal of an adoptee. The
roots of her superpower are not within shrouded origins or mysterious DNA. She has a superpower because she is a
survivor, because she is strong, and because she is smart. This is one reason why I adore Matilda.
--
Amanda
H.L. Transue-Woolston is a social worker, writer, and speaker whose writing on
adoption has been published in the U.S. and several other countries. She has
provided information directly to State legislators as well as Congressional
staff on adoption policy. She has also written testimony and editorials on
adoption legislation in more than eight States. Amanda engages others in the
discussion of adoption through workshops and presentations at conferences and
universities.
Amanda
was a featured mom activist on Mother's Day at Yahoo!Voices in 2011. She was
also named in the "Top 20 Adoption Blogs" list (2011) and on the
"Blogs We Love" list at Adoptive Families Magazine. She is also a BlogHer syndicated writer. Amanda is perhaps best known for her popular
adoption blog, The Declassified Adoptee.
Amanda
is the founder of Pennsylvania Adoptee Rights, the Vice President and Director
of Outreach of The Adoptee Rights Coalition, and a founding member of Adoption
Policy and Reform Collaborative. Amanda
is an editor at Land of Gazillion Adoptees, and a regular contributor at
Adoption Voices Magazine. Amanda is also
the founder of The Lost Daughters, a collaborative writing project featuring
the voices of over 30 adopted women from all walks of life.
Amanda
was adopted in 1986 through mono-racial
private, domestic, infant adoption from a foster care program managed by
the largest adoption agency in the U.S.
She identifies as a Christian Universalist, an unapologetic feminist,
and a humanist. She's also a nature photographer, dedicated Etsy shopper, lover
of chocolate covered potato chips, a brown belt in karate, and an increasingly
decent cook. She lives with her husband
of six years and their two children in their home in Pennsylvania.
Enjoy this post? You might also enjoy these Adoption Movie Guides of other films with courageous girls playing central roles:
Oh, I loved this movie back in the day, before I knew adoption from the inside. I liked the strong character who was able to stay kind even amid bullies.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate knowing how this film can come across when viewed through adoptee eyes. I think I'll watch it with my children and see what comes up.
I'd love to know what they think :)
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