Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Adoption Movie Guide: Iron Man 3
SPOILERS AHEAD
The latest in a series of apparent terrorist attacks have
wounded a friend of Tony Stark, an inventor who also masquerades as the superhero,
Iron Man. While investigating the attacks, Stark learns that he is indirectly
responsible for them. A scientist who Stark brushed off years earlier appears to
have turned evil. Stark must battle his own anxiety while working to save the
world from a dangerous situation.
How is This Relevant
to Foster Care / Adoption?
Some children in foster care suffer from PTSD; Stark seems
to be suffering from it as well. He has anxiety attacks on-screen, and also
explains, “you experience things. They’re over, and you still can’t explain
them… I can’t sleep.” Stark has become hypervigilant in the wake of some of his
experiences, and experiences nightmares. Stark is frustrated because people
keep wanting him to talk about the incidents that traumatized him.
Strong Points
Stark seems to grow less selfish as the film progresses.
Another character – James Rhodes – is consistently selfless and heroic.
Stark is ultimately able to walk away from some parts of his
life connected to his past trauma.
Challenges
Some viewers might identify with Aldrich Killian – disabled,
socially awkward, and abandoned by the more popular Stark. And although Stark
takes some responsibility for what he did to Killian, Killian responds by
becoming a villain. He kills many people, including some that trust him, and he
is ultimately killed.
Weak Points
Stark is helped by Harley, a ten-year-old boy. However, some
of their interactions could be very difficult to children dealing with
abandonment issues. Harley expresses that his father abandoned the family
unexpectedly, six years ago. Stark tells him crassly, “Dads leave all the time.
There’s no need to be a pussy about it.” The audience laughed at this line.
Later, Harley tries to manipulate Stark into spending time with him, telling
Stark, “Admit you need me. We’re connected.” Stark mocks him, and says, “move
out of the way or I’m going to run you over.” Harley asks, “So now you’re going
to leave me, like my dad.” Stark says, “Yup,” and drives off. Later, he sends
gifts to Harley. Even some of Harley’s assistance to Stark seems problematic –
he counsels Stark through an anxiety attack. The pattern presented – an absent
adult depending on a child for emotional and tangible support, and then making
up for it with gifts – isn’t too different from unhealthy patterns that happen
in real life. Harley seems perfectly placated by the gifts.
Some scenes might be triggering to some viewers: A man
spontaneously combusts, a drug seems to turn people violent before killing them,
terroristic threats are made, a beloved character is badly injured and Stark examines
his body. A terrorist attack is made against Stark’s home. There is
considerable gun violence. In one scene, Stark has fights a woman. One
character appears to be tortured. One character threatens to commit suicide to
save another. A character is unexpectedly shot to death. A character falls into
a raging fire.
Recommendations
Chances are your kids (especially boys) want to see this
one. It’s a superhero movie with explosions, familiar faces, and cool costumes.
And some problems. There are enough potential
triggers in this film that parents should probably watch it before their kids
do, to pre-screen it. Iron Man 3 is a very entertaining film, but for families
with kids who’ve experienced abandonment or trauma, it might be a good one to
skip.
I'm also troubled by how Killian turned to evil in the face of cruelty. In X-Men, Magneto does the same thing, but X-Men does a better job of showing that people have an active, important choice in how they respond to the bad things that happen to them.
Questions for
Discussion After the Film
Have you ever felt like Tony Stark – something has happened,
it’s over, and yet it still keeps you up at night, gives you nightmares, and
sticks around in your mind? When do thoughts of it pop up?
Why did Tony Stark “brush off” Aldrich at the New Year’s Eve
party? Do you think he would act differently if he had another chance?
How does Harley feel towards Tony? Why? What do you think of
how Tony treated Harley?
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I just saw Iron Man III last night. While it was entertaining, I did cringe multiple times during Tony's interactions with Harley. If I were watching this with a child, I would be sure to talk about Tony's comments to Harley and how Harley's reactions might have been different from how he actually felt.
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Thanks for your comment --- I had the same reaction towards the interactions between Tony and Harley, especially because in the world of the film, the interactions were played off as humorous, when in real life, they're harmful...
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