Thursday, June 27, 2013
Man of Steel: A “Super” Movie for Adoption
Yesterday, I reviewed Man of Steel. Today, I'm pleased to share a second (and third!) voice on the movie. Debbie Schwartz is the founder and director of Forever Families Weekend for Jewish Families Touched by Adoption. She recently reached out to share her take on Man of Steel, and also provides her 15-year-old son's take, as well. Enjoy!
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Last week my family (me, my husband, and my two sons, ages
15 and 13) saw Man of Steel, the new Superman movie. Spoiler alert, sort of...I'm going to talk
about the movie and its adoption themes.
I'm not giving away plot points.
I'm pretty sure you all know the basic story. But stop reading if you don't want to know...
Overalll, I think the producers/directors/screenwriters
actually did a really good job with the adoption themes in this movie, which
was a pleasant surprise. I suspect a lot
of people won't even realize some of the adoption sub-text (if they aren't
involved in the adoption community). But
both of my kids and my husband and I certainly paid attention.
First, there is a very poignant scene early in the movie
when Jor-El and Lara have to put baby Kal-El into the spaceship and send him to
Earth to save his life. Lara says
something along the lines of “Now that he's actually here, I don't think I can
go through with it.” They are, for all
intents and purposes, birthparents making an adoption plan (although they have
no idea which humans will end up raising their son). Both birthparents are clearly struggling with
the idea of separating from Kal-El. Lara
also talks about how difficult it is to imagine that she won't see him take his
first steps, etc. I couldn't help but
relate it to what it was like when our children’s birthparents said good-bye in
the hospital. Jor-El and Lara clearly
love their son. They also realize that
(since the planet Krypton is doomed), his best hope is to be sent to earth
where he has a chance at a life. They
send him away so that he can live.
Later, there are multiple flashback scenes to Clark Kent
growing up in Kansas which echo many adoption themes. My favorite (and the one that was SO accurate
that I was certain an adoptive parent or adoptee must have been involved with
the script) was when Clark - frustrated and angry and riding in his father's
pickup truck - says to him, "You're not my real father!" It was a classic adoption moment! [Later I learned that the producer and the
director – a married couple – were in the process of adopting when they made
this movie.]
I will say that the one “sour” adoption note for me was the
way that Clark’s father Jonathan reacted in the scene. He agrees with Clark that he isn’t truly his
real father – which is not the response I would have given! I wish that the writers had allowed Jonathan
to claim his place as Clark’s father while also acknowledging the fact that he
isn’t his biological parent. On the
other hand, Jonathan kept his cool…I know many adoptive parents who would have
been so busy feeling hurt and rejected in that moment that they would not have
handled it calmly. If nothing else, the
scene is a good reminder for adoptive parents (and pre-adoptive parents) that
role playing and practicing responses for those “in the car” moments can come
in handy.
Throughout the flashback scenes to his childhood, Clark Kent
struggles with feeling alone and different (well, after all, he really IS
different!) and wanting to know where he comes from, who his birthparents are
(my term, not his), etc. And when he
finally learns the story of his background, he later says to his mother, Martha
Kent, that he has finally found his people.
In the end, as you know, he does decide that he is more
human than Kryptonian (is that a word?) - identifying with his adoptive family
and claiming Earth - the only home he has ever known - as his own.
For what it’s worth, I found the fight scenes to be excessively
long and violent. I do NOT recommend
this movie for young children and, if your teen is struggling with adoption and
identity issues, you may want to be sure you see it together and/or have
him/her see it in the afternoon, rather than the evening, so you have time to
discuss the underlying adoption themes before bedtime.
On the other hand, my kids shrugged off the adoption themes
("Yes, Mom, we saw that there were adoption themes in the movie." – a
sentence which was accompanied by giant eye rolls) and thought the level of
violence was perfect ("You just didn't like the violence because you're a
MOM!").
The following day I had a second conversation with my
15-year-old about the movie and the adoption themes. He agreed that the moviemakers "got it
right" about adoption - that although not ALL adoptees feel alone,
different, etc., the movie did a good job of representing those feelings for
the ones who do. He remarked that the
scene in the truck felt authentic to him, too.
Interestingly, he was particularly struck by the scene between Clark and
his mother, Martha, after he tells her that he "found his
people." My son thought it was
accurate that Martha Kent was both happy for her son and sad at the same time,
as well as worried that they would take Clark away from her.
From start to finish, Man of Steel represents adoption
better than most movies – and from an adoption standpoint I highly recommend
this film as a great way to initiate an adoption conversation with your
teenager. But don’t be surprised if they
just roll their eyes at you…
Check out Debbie's website at http://njycamps.org/families/html/forever_families.html, and follow her on Twitter @DebbieFFW
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