Saturday, February 28, 2015
Black or White Movie Review - Guest Post by Lori Holden
Though Black or White earns its adoption stripes through
simple kinship adoption (Kevin Costner and Octavia Spencer vie for custody of
the granddaughter they share, Eloise, played by the luminous Jillian Estell),
the bigger message for adoptive families is the devastating split a person can
experience when divided in two by color, race, biology and/or biography. And
how not dealing with tough emotions such as anger and grief rarely means they
resolve on their own.
Eloise's mother (Kevin Costner's daughter) died during
childbirth, and Eloise's father (Octavia Spencer's son) has been absent due to
substance abuse. Still, Eloise's black and white families have formed a
détente. Eloise lives with her well-off white grandparents in their tony home
and neighborhood. In addition, Eloise has much access to the ebullient and
extensive clan headed by her black grandmother, Rowena, who lives in South
Central LA.
But the détente is upended with the sudden death of
Costner's wife, Eloise's grandmother and primary caretaker.
On the race issue, some will dismiss the film as joining a
long line of "white savior" films, such as The Blind Side and Losing
Isaiah. Some may consider it patronizing.
But writer/director Mike Binder (The Upside of Anger), whose
bi-racial nephew was the inspiration for Eloise, wanted to open up a dialog on
race, even if it wasn't a perfect one. Late in the film, Costner's Elliot
Anderson responds in a court scene with Binder's crystallized message. When
asked if he has a problem with racial prejudice, Elliot replies, “Is that the
first thing I notice when I see a black man? Skin color? Yes. It’s not my first
thought that counts. It’s my second, third and fourth thoughts.”
Adoptees may note that this story focuses on the needs and
wants of the grownups in a situation, more so than on the child (who, in
Eloise, is notably without trauma issues for one who has experienced such
loss). And that gripe would be warranted.
But this is also where the film shines. For it shows the grownups
with all their foibles and flaws. It shows how their wanting the best sometimes
brings out their worst. We see repressed emotions, addiction, loss, hubris,
stereotyping, and urges to win no matter the cost.
Ultimately, we discover the key to redemption: allowing long
stuffed-down emotions to be felt and dealt with. We see these nuanced and
flawed people aim to overcome their Either/Or tendencies to embrace a Both/And paradigm for the girl who joins them together. (Perhaps instead, the film
should have been titled Black AND White.)
In this, the film's flaws are also redeemed. Learning how to
heal the splits inherent in adoption is a worthy endeavor for all grownups
involved.
Lori Holden blogs from Denver at LavenderLuz.com. Her book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, written with her daughter's birth mom, is available in hardcover and e-book through Amazon or your favorite online bookseller.
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