Tuesday, July 7, 2015
When Marnie Was There Adoption Movie Review - A Foster-Care Ghost Story.
When 12-year-old foster child Anna Sasaki collapses at
school from an asthma attack, her long-time foster mother sends her away from
the big city of Sapporo to Kushiro, a rural area where the foster mother’s
family lives. Although she has been sent to Kushiro to recover her physical
health, Anna finds answers that have been plaguing her peace of mind, and she
also meets Marnie, a friend with a very mysterious past.
The Adoption
Connection
This movie is very relevant to foster care and adoption.
Anna expressed that she feels like an outsider. She is being cared for by
Yuriko, who she alternatively describes as “my mother,” “Yuriko,” “my guardian,”
“auntie” and “my foster mother.” Anna has been living with Yuriko and her
husband for seven years. Anna has learned that Yuriko receives money from the
government for serving as a foster parent – however, Yuriko does not know that
Anna knows. Anna is torn apart inside by this knowledge, wondering whether
Yuriko could actually love her, since she’s getting paid. At one point, when
Anna is sick, she apologizes to Yuriko for “costing you money again.” This
baffles Yuriko, but it shows that Anna struggles with knowing whether she is
actually loved. Later, Anna expresses her sorrow at the circumstances of her
life, expressing that her wish is for “a normal life every day.”
Yuriko talks to a doctor about Anna. Yuriko notes that Anna
does not show her emotions. She wonders aloud, “Maybe it’s because we’re not
related by blood.”
When in Kushiro, Anna is convinced by her foster aunt and
uncle of Yuriko’s love for her, and by the end of the story, Anna appears to
accept Yuriko as her mother.
Anna also learns the story of how she came into foster care,
and quite a bit about her birth family’s history.
(Major Spoiler Alert – the rest of this section contains
major spoilers.)
Anna reluctantly identifies herself as a foster child. She
explains, “My real parents died when I was little, my grandma too. I know they
didn’t die on purpose, but sometimes I feel I can’t forgive them for leaving me
alone.”
Anna sees an abandoned house across a marsh which is
strangely familiar to her. While exploring, Anna meets her mysterious friend,
Marnie. Marnie and Anna share their stories with each other, and they find
comfort in each other’s understanding. Marnie is actually a ghost, but she is
also Anna’s birth grandmother, returning in the form she had when she was a
girl of Anna’s age. It’s interesting to imagine what it would be like to meet
my grandparents as peers of my own age. Anna learns Marnie’s story, and from
Marnie, finds out how she herself came to be in foster care. Although it is a
story with significant sadness and loss, there are also notes of joy, perseverance
and determination. After she knows her story, Anna is much more at peace.
Anna’s words to Marnie might echo the feelings of people
separated by adoption, saying at one point, “You left me behind… I won’t
forgive you, leaving me behind without a word… Why did you betray me?” and at
another point, “I missed you – I kept calling you with my heart… I’ll never
forget you,” and ultimately telling her, “Of course I forgive you. I love you,
and I won’t forget you.”
Marnie was neglected and abused as a child. Anna and Marnie
both envy each other – Anna envies Marnie for growing up with her birth family,
and Marnie envies Anna for living in a safe, loving home with kindhearted
people.
Strong Points
Anna’s foster mother and her extended foster family truly do
show their love and fondness for her throughout the film. Her aunt explains
that her foster mother was “ecstatic” when Anna first arrived, and she spent
much time teaching her life skills “to make up for the five years she didn’t get
with you.” All members of Yuriko’s family embrace Anna as part of their family.
Anna learns her whole story – even going back a couple
generations – of how she came into foster care, and the fact that Yuriko does
receive payment (or rather, money for Anna’s expenses) for caring for Anna. Having
all truth open and accessible is very healing to Anna, and she is able to find
wholeness by knowing the truth. I can’t think of a more important message for
foster and adoptive families – truth, lovingly and skillfully shared, helps
people heal.
Anna is able to express powerful emotions about the
circumstances of her life, and the people in her birth family and adoptive
family to whom she expresses those feelings always respond with love.
Spoiler Alert ***** The film captures the importance of
physical locations to adoptees – it is often quite powerful and meaningful to
return to places that were part of one’s story before the adoption or entry
into foster care. ***** End spoiler
Challenges
Although she intended well, when Yuriko sent Anna away “to
get well” it might have felt like abandonment to Anna, especially since Anna
was wondering whether she was loved or just a source of income. In fact, Anna
later explains to another child that Yuriko sent her to Kushiro because “I
worried her, so she got rid of me for a while.” The fact that Yuriko sent her
there by putting her on a train by herself makes it more likely that Anna might
have felt abandoned.
Anna struggles to view herself as Yuriko’s child and
struggles to view Yuriko as her parent. This is expressed in her word choice, “I’m
not their real child, but they raised me, which I appreciate, but one day I
saw, they get paid for it. They get paid because I’m not their real child. Even
worse, they hide it from me.” Ultimately, through access to honest information,
Anna is able to view herself as having two sets of real parents, integrating
her identities and achieving what Lori Holden would call wholeness. (Click here for more from Lori on wholeness in adoptee identity.) and while you're at it... (Click here for Lori's well-received book on how openness in adoption can help children achieve wholeness).
This is, at times, a very sad story. Viewers could resonate
painfully with Marnie’s or Anna’s experiences, but it does seem that both
characters find resolution by the end of the film – so the film could be
helpful for connecting with and working through painful emotions, even for
people who will recognize aspects of their own stories in the movie.
Weak Points
In a couple scenes, Anna wakes up by the side of the road,
dirty and disoriented. It’s initially unclear what has brought her there, and
this could be concerning or troubling for some viewers.
Recommendations
What an emotional experience this film is. Some aspects of
When Marnie Was There might make it too scary, or too slow, for young viewers.
It seems like a better fit for kids ages 11 and up. There is a lot of relevance
to foster care and adoption. Anna does not look like the other kids around her –
her eyes are blue, “like a foreigner,” while her peers all appear to be
Japanese. Kids who have been adopted cross-culturally may resonate with this.
Anna also wonders about the meaning of the fact that her guardians receive money
for her care. This could be a very real concern for many kids in foster care,
or adopted out of foster care, or for people who question the role of money
when it’s connected to care or adoption. The film’s message is, “we do receive money,
but it doesn’t change the fact that we love you.” It could be a helpful tool in
having that conversation with your kids, if this is something that they’ve been
(perhaps secretly) wondering or worrying about. Finally, the film highlights
the importance of honesty. Anna feels so much better and so much freer after
she knows her own history and also after Yuriko openly talks with her about the
issue of financial reimbursement for foster care. I’d recommend this one for
kids age 11 and up, as well as for adults who are involved in adoption or
foster care. It’s a good one for adults and kids to watch together or for
adults to watch alone.
Questions for
Discussion
How do you imagine Anna felt when she was sent away to
Kushiro?
What places are important to you, before you came here?
Why is it sad to be in foster care? Why might it be sad to
not have been taken into care?
How do you achieve a full, integrated acceptance of your
story?
Related Films
The recently-released Disney/Pixar film Inside Out also
examines the source of the emotions of a pre-teen girl. Click here for the Adoption Movie Review of Inside Out.
In Kung Fu Panda 2, Mr. Ping shares Po’s adoption story with
him. Po finds it possible to integrate all parts of his identity, and he is
helped by knowing the truth. Click here for the Adoption Movie Review of Kung Fu Panda 2.
In Closure, a young adult who was adopted from foster care
as an infant travels across the country in order to find answers about the
circumstances of her adoption and the identity of her birth family. Click here for the Adoption Movie Review of Closure.
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