Samantha was adopted from Korea in 1987. In 2013, she received
an unexpected letter over the Internet from a girl named Anaïs, who believes
that they might be sisters. Samantha and Anaïs develop a friendship over the
internet, and eventually, Samantha travels from the US to Europe to meet with
Anaïs. There, they receive the results of a DNA test: they are not only sisters
– they are identical twins. Together,
Anaïs and Samantha travel to Korea and connect with others who were adopted from
Korea. They are not able to find their birthmother, but they are able to find a
sense of community in each other, in their earliest foster parents, and in the
Korean adoptee community.
The Adoption
Connection
This is an adoption story, all the way. Anaïs and Samantha
are sisters who were adopted as infants, and who reunify as young adults. It’s
a positive, worthwhile film.
Strong Points
Anaïs and Samantha are sad that they are not able to find
their birthmother; she refuses to acknowledge that she had children. The girls
express their feelings, “I feel sorry for her… I feel bad that she has to hide it.”
And they comment on the experience they have of “unconditionally loving someone
I’ve never met.”
Anaïs always wanted siblings; Samantha includes her as part
of her family, and tells her “You’ve got two older brothers now.”
Samantha shares the news of her newfound twin with her relative,
who exclaims, “I’m so happy for both of you, and for me too.
Anaïs’ and Samantha’s parents both travel to London and all
of them are able to meet together.
It’s hard for Anaïs and Samantha to go back to their everyday
lives, continents apart, but they maintain a friendship with each other. Each
travels to see the other.
Anaïs beautifully captures the power of having a sibling for
someone who has been adopted apart from them, “Sam represents so much… We have
the same story.”
Samantha and Anaïs are able to meet their former foster
mothers, and it’s very nice to see that their foster mothers remember them and show
care and love towards them.
At the Korean adoptee convention, a special video message
reaches out to the adoptees, “I humbly ask you to love your mother country.”
Anaïs and Samantha feel encouraged that their mother country cares about them.
For Anaïs, connecting with her former foster mother is a
sign of proof that she was loved and cared for, even before she was adopted
into her loving family. Previously, she had thought of her life before adoption
as a void. She used to say that her life started at the airport, but now she is
able to see the value and the love that existed even before she came to her
parents. She can move towards having a fully integrated understanding of her
life story, rather than having two separate life stories. She explains, she
thought that her parents stopped loving her, but now she realizes that people
loved her from the very beginning.
Anaïs and Samantha have added to each other’s families, but
have not replaced each other’s families. One says “Family is what you make of
it; there’s no definition,” and then lists their family: adoptive family,
foster families, each other, their birth mother, their sister’s parents. One
says it’s like having “five different types of mom, and it’s OK.” For Anaïs,
who felt lonely as an only child, having such a large sense of family is a very
positive experience.
Together, Anaïs and Samantha write a letter to their
birthmother expressing that they are happy to have each other, and expressing
that they love her.
Recommendations
Twinsters gets Adoption at the Movies’ very strong
recommendation. This one should be good for adoptive parents, people
considering adoption, and adoptees ages 11 and up or so. If you watch it with
your children, be prepared to talk with them about their feelings regarding
openness and their feelings of grief regarding relatives with whom they’ve lost
contact. This one is wroth seeing.
Questions for
Discussion
Why do you think Anaïs and Samantha were separated? What
would it mean to discover an unknown twin?
How can Anaïs and Samantha maintain their relationship even
though they’re separated by an ocean?
How did their families react to them finding each other? How
can their families support their relationship?
How can adoptee conventions, like the one Samantha and Anaïs attended, be helpful to adoptees? What are the nearest ones to your home?
What feelings do Anaïs and Samantha have towards their
birthmother? What feelings do you believe your children have towards their
birthparents?
Do your children have siblings that they don’t live with?
Can those relationships be pursued?
How can you help your children find the honorable, good, and
healing aspects of their pre-adoption history?
No comments:
Post a Comment