(There are spoilers throughout this review)
Miguel loves music, but his family forbids it. Four
generations ago, Miguel’s great-great-grandfather left, when Miguel’s
great-grandmother Coco was only a small child. He left intending to play his
music for the world, but never returned. His wife, Miguel’s
great-great-grandmother learned how to make shoes, and in the generations
since, her family has become famous and successful as shoemakers. Music has
been forbidden from the family because of the pain caused when Miguel’s
great-great-grandfather left. Miguel secretly loves music and wants to be a
musician. His family will not the speak the name of his
great-great-grandfather; they try to forget him. As a result, Miguel does not
know who his ancestor is, although he believes it is Ernesto de la Cruz, who
during his life had been the most famous singer in the land. On Dia de los
Muertos, Miguel, frustrated by his family’s lack of support for his love of
music, claims that he no longer wants to be part of his family. He is
transported into the land of the dead, where he attempts to find Ernesto de la
Cruz, but instead finds out some surprising truths about his family history.
The Adoption
Connection
Coco is a story of search, reunion, secrecy, and identity.
It is one of the most adoption-relevant films I’ve reviewed, even though the
film is not about adoption.
The importance of family over many generations is important
to Miguel, but much of his identity is missing because his family refuses to
speak about his great-great-grandfather. Their pain over what they perceived as
his betrayal of the family leads them to try to forget him, and to not speak
about him. However, this causes Miguel to fantasize about who his ancestor may
have been. For adopted persons or kids in foster care, it is not uncommon to
fantasize about unknown birth parents; those fantasies are often either overly
negative or overly positive; the truth can help develop a more realistic
understanding. The family’s
unwillingness to speak of Miguel’s ancestor also leaves Miguel without answers
for why he has certain skills, drives, and ambitions. Eventually, he learns the
truth – that his grandfather was a talented and passionate musician, and then
Miguel can make peace with that aspect of his own identity. Miguel expressed, “My
whole life, something made me different and I didn’t know where it came from –
it’s from you, and I’m proud to be your family.” What a powerful statement of
the importance of family, and a powerful picture of what is lost when we keep
secrets about a person’s ancestry.
A character without family connections has made family
connections with others in a similar situation; he explains, that they are “kind
of” his family. “We’re all friendless and forgotten. We call each other cousin.”
Miguel feels that he must prove himself worthy of his
heritage.
Strong Points
Even though a family uses secrecy and silence to try to
protect themselves, they find healing through truth. (For more on secrecy and
silence Check
out our Book! )
Coco captures the importance of multigenerational familial
connections, which is relevant to all families, but perhaps particularly to
those families touched by adoption.
Miguel struggles with feeling part of his family, but
knowing the truth about his family helps him accept his family – and helps them
accept him.
We learn that Coco’s father missed his young daughter even
though he was ultimately prevented from returning to her.
Miguel’s family believed that his great-great grandfather
abandoned his family. They tell Miguel to forget him and not speak of him, but
Miguel protests, “He is my family.”
Miguel feels caught between his own identity and the demands
of his family. I can imagine adoptees feeling a similar way when they
experience, or are subjected to, loyalty conflicts between their adoptive and
birth families. Miguel powerfully challenges his great-great-grandmother, “I
don’t want to pick sides. Why aren’t you on my side? That’s what family is
supposed to do.”
Miguel is freed from an untrue fantasy about his unknown
relatives, and is able to take pride and wholeness from the truth.
Even when it seems that Coco has forgotten her father, she
still has some memories of him tucked deep away, and Miguel is able to help her
find them.
Challenges
*Major Spoilers*
A big theme of the story is that Miguel’s ancestor did leave
his family. What Miguel learns, though, is surprising. Ernesto de la Cruz is
not his relative. In fact, Miguel’s ancestor was a forgotten musician named
Hector, who was close friends with de la Cruz. Hector decided that he wanted to
abandon his career and return home to his family; however, de la Cruz wanted to
become famous. He poisoned Hector, and after Hector was dead, de la Cruz stole
Hector’s music, took credit for it, and used it to gain fame and riches for
himself. Miguel learns and shares the truth, which brings healing to his
family, both in the land of the living and in the land of the dead. The themes
might be a bit hard for some of the younger children that this film seems
likely to appeal to.
Before they learn the truth about Coco’s father, Miguel’s
family tells him, “never mention that man; he’s better off forgotten,” but it
is obvious that Coco, even in her very old age, longs for her father.
The tradition holds that someone whose family has not put up
their photo on the day of the dead cannot cross over into the land of the
living. Some kids could walk away from the film feeling responsible for the
lost relationships with their birth family members; parents should proactively address
this, reminding children that they are remembered and loved, and that it is
good for them to remember the people they love, but that they are not responsible
for what losses they’ve experienced.
As Hector is nearly forgotten by his
living relatives, he starts to fade away. He expresses that, when no one left
in the living world remembers him, he will experience “the final death, which
he says happens to everyone.”
Miguel nearly becomes trapped in the land of the dead – his
skin starts to be translucent and we can
see his skeleton; this could scare
some young kids.
For a moment, it seems as though Hector will never be
reunited with his daughter.
A crowd cheers when a villain is crushed to death.
Recommendations
Because of Coco’s portrayal of the importance of family relationships
and the power of breaking secrecy, it seems like an important film for adoptive
families. At the same time, kids should not feel guilty if they forget those
they’ve lost, especially kids who’ve lost familial connections through foster
care or adoption; kids in that situation often do struggle with unjustified
self-blame, and they could leave this film feeling as they’ve got something
else to feel guilty about. Parents need to guard against this, and the best way
to do that is with proactive conversations – but the film seems so important to
see because of how it captures the importance of the family members with whom
we’ve lost contact and because it shows the gain that can occur when secrecy is
broken. Some young kids might be scared by the skeletons, but overall this one should
be good for parents as well as for most kids ages 8 and up, with parental
guidance. The film is paired with Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, which is a
heartwarming and even insightful short film.
Questions for
Discussion
Why did Miguel says that he did not want to pick sides? What
did he mean? What do you think about how he was feeling?
Why did Miguel’s family try not to talk about his
great-great-grandfather? How did that impact Miguel?
How did the truth change Miguel’s family?
In what ways is Miguel shaped by family members that he grew
up with? In what ways was he shaped by his great-great-grandfather?
Who makes you, you?
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